The penny-pinching battleaxe even wishes they put gravy in sachets, so she could charge for that. Personally, I don't think that's a Dragons' Den worthy idea. How would you keep it warm? I'm out.
After Roy challenges his mother over her strategy, saying that the cafe is run under an ethos that is built on customer trust (no, I haven't a clue either, so don't look at me) Sylvia compares Roy to Chairman Mao (slightly ironic, seeing as Mao caused the deaths of around 60 million people through starvation and Roy is arguing against his mam's cutting of portions sizes).
After that most unlikely of comparisons, Owen complains about the size of his all-day breakfast. Sylvia tells him about her hrifting and that he probably doesn't need the extra sausage anyway because his "spread isn't completely down to middle age". As you would expect, Owen sees his (fat) arse about it and storms out.
Over in The Kabin, Norris, Rita and Emily indulge in a shit, and ultimately worthless, conversation about a Wagon Wheel sized spider. In fact, the biggest thing of note is Norris getting annoyed at Dennis using the staff entrance. Actually, nuggets of Norris gold aside, this was probably the biggest waste of three minutes of my life in the past week. And I spend at least 10 minutes a day trying to explain mobile internet to my dad.
At the bookies, we find out one of the biggest shocks of the week (make sure you are sitting down for this): THERE ARE NEW URINALS IN THE BUS STATION!!! By eck, the Weatherfield Gazette doesn't half have its finger on the pulse of the issues that matter, eh?
Anyway, this excitement aside, Leanne tells Peter that she's found out about Carla & Frank. This leads to Leanne having digs at Carla, after she bumps into her leaving the bookies. Leanne taunts Carla by saying that "at least the groom isn't a homicidal maniac." No, Leanne, just a rapist. The two nearly come to blows but are separated by Frank, who may or may not have tried to rape one of them at this moment. Slimy git.
Hayley and Roy bring Hope to visit Fizz, not that Hope has any concept of what is going on, nor cares probably. Fizz, as expected, starts blubbing. She cries more than the bleeding baby. Fizz tells them that she has her fraud hearing tomorrow but doesn't want them there. Between tears she spots her new mummy mate Ruth's baby being used to smuggle drugs.
At this point, Roy drops off to sleep. The poor bloke is probably bored shitless of Fizz's sobbing, like me. Fizz says she wouldn't have been in this position if she had been stronger on the outside. She says 'stronger', I say 'less thick'.
Back in the cell, Fizz starts crying (much more and she'll shrivel like Deirdre's turkey-neck) and mumbles to her manly cell-mate, Ginny, about missing Hope. In an attempt to console Fizz, Ginny offers her drugs to 'take edge off', which a shocked Fizz refuses.
Back at the cafe, Sylvia's cost cutting continues, charging extra for, more-or-less literally, everything. Norris is taken aback when he discovers he has to pay extra for milk in his tea. Sylvia suggests that he has black tea, as it is "popular on continent". Norris retorts by saying that nudism was also popular on continent but he won't be dropping his trousers. Thank Christ. After Norris leaves in a huff, Sylvia turns her attention to Emily and turfs her out for, well, doing nothing and taking up space. If only Sylvia was a writer.
After Peter takes a phone call off a cockney geezer purporting to be from a rival bookies, arranging to meet at the bistro, he and Leanne head over to find that it was Frank pulling a fast one, tricking them into a meeting with him and Carla.
Frank tells them that they need to clear the air with each other. After a bit of back-and-forth Carla eventually says that she never loved Peter and that she was just confused. *cough*bollocks*cough* Leanne agrees to call a truce and they hug.
A very touching end to the episode, I'm sure you'll agree.
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