Over in Underworld, slimy Frank is looking at engagement rings for Carla. When on the phone to the jeweller, he describes Tony Gordon as "a bit of a flash Harry". Three words, Frank: 'pot', 'kettle' and 'black'.
Leanne and Peter start the day, like any other couple, by discussing their early morning session of doing the sex. Leanne tells Peter that, like marathon runners train, theyre training to get pregnant. Presumably she thinks that Simon came from a catalogue or something. Peter then compared himself to Rafa Nadal, presumably meaning he's got some sort of nookie-related OCD.
Over at the 'Lloyd Mullaney Hospice For Angry Builders With Cancer', Chris was having second thoughts about moving in. Cheryl remeasures him that Lloyd is fine with with him being there, as he it the one that invited him in the first place, leaving out the part where she guilt-tripped him into it.
They change the subject to Maria and Chris says that she's too fussy over him and that he wants a girlfriend and not a nurse (and, apparently, free bed and board). Meanwhile, in the cab office, Karl is impressed with Lloyd's treatment of Chris.
At the cafe, Sylvia starts badgering Roy about the way he runs his business, moaning about the size of the portions and the like. Maybe if the nosey old mare was so good at this sort of thing, she would have had her own cafe and not had to have Hayley save her from the old folks home.
Becky, meanwhile, on what should be her second wedding anniversary, opens her mail to find a notification of the start of her and Steve's divorce proceedings, while Leanne and Peter decide that they need more training. At this rate, any more 'training' and it'll drop off, meaning Peter will have to stop likening himself to Rafa Nadal and use Oscar Pistorius, instead.
Over in t'Rovers, Dev tells Owen that he spotted Chris moving into Lloyd's. Karl overhears and struggles to keep it buttoned about Chris' real situation, when they start making cheap jibes at Lloyd's and Chris' expense. Eventually, Karl spills the beans about Chris' tumour, shutting up Dev (a feat in itself) and Owen.
On my count, that's now 5 people who've found out about Chris' tumour without his say so. Well, what do you expect from Coro?! They are very nearly all inter-related anyway, what with all the affairs. News spreads fast as does, presumably, STDs.
Maria confronts Cheryl about Chris moving in, saying that her, Liam and the dog miss him. She explains that the dog must miss him because it keeps fetching his trainers. I, on the other hand, think the dog hates Maria and just wants to make her cry. Maria desperately tries to get in on Chris' pity party but Cheryl tells her that Chris doesn't want her. Maria says she'll leave him be from now on and trotts of sobbing.
Owen bumps into Chris and is unnaturally nice to him, offering him work and wages, including holiday pay. Chris quizzes Owen about his sudden generosity and learns that Karl told them in the Rovers. This tells you how much of a pointless, hardly worthy of a mention, character Karl is as even Chris tells Owen that he doesn't know who he is. He then tells Owen to stick his wages before Owen convinces him he needs them to look after himself. Aww.
Back at Roy's,seeing that he is overwhelmed with work and looking after baby Hope, his mam starts to get her feet further under the table in the running of the cafe. Roy finally relents and asks Sylvia to run the cafe while him and Hayley are visiting Fizz.
In the corner shop, Carla bumps into Peter who goes to have quiet word with her about what exactly she's told Frank. Carla, guessing he means if she told him about their "little fumble", tells him, in no uncertain terms that she hasn't. As things start to get a little heated, Dev takes an interest in the pair's exchange until Peter asks him if they still do spaghetti hoop. Presumably he's been bonking so long that he's lost track of time and thinks spaghetti hoops (known for their erotic and arousing properties) have become extinct, or something.
Back at Lloyd's, Chris fumes at Cheryl about everyone knowing his business and suggests that they'll be having bets on size of his tumour. Don't worry, Chris, even if they were, they wouldn't be able to put anything on at the bookies. Peter will be too busy 'training' to run it. Lloyd walks in in the middle of this and ends up getting both barrels from Chris and Cheryl.
In the Rovers, smarmy Frank gets a round of drinks in, including Peter, making it glaringly obvious that he's up to something. He invites Carla out to lunch at the restaurant but she refuses and tells him that she found out that he was lying about who he was on the phone to. Frank is forced to propose on the floor of the Rovers, much to the shock of those around.
I'm sure you'll agree that being proposed to, on the sticky carpet of the local, by an attempted rapist is really every girl's dream. The guys in this show make Casanova look cheap and tacky.
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