Fizz argues with Ruth as Fizz tries give her a lecture on drugs. (Fizz, dear, they are in prison. It's highly likely that they are passed the help of a stern talking to.) Ruth threatens Fizz and tells her not to grass. Fizz retorts by telling Ruth that she'll be dead by the time her baby is walking, if she carries on with the drugs. This sounds like Fizz is threatening to kill Ruth. I don't think she is, though. She's not as hard as Shelly O'Brien.
Ruth tells Fizz that her boyfriend makes her smuggle in the drugs. This makes Fizz come over all sarky, telling Ruth "stop it, I'm welling up". Just a tiny bit rich coming from her.
Meanwhile, at the cafe, Sylvia has implemented a 20p charge for using the toilet. Unfortunately, for Kirk here is a 'no money back' policy in the event of a "false alarm". Not only that but, while he was in the toilet, not pissing, he had brew taken away. When Anna offers to replace it, Sylvia insists that Kirk should pay for it, something which Kirk refuses to do, opting to leave, instead.
As part of his grand place to seduce Tina, using his culinary skills, Tommy quizzes Rita about Tina's favourite food. It turns out that cheese on toast is her favourite. Expensive tastes, that lady. Anyway, Tommy brags that he's cooked a fish on a beach in Malaysia yet he still has to ask how to make a chicken pie.
I imagine ordering in a restaurant, run by Tommy, would go something like this:
"Hi, I'd like to order the chicken pie, please."
"I'm sorry, sir, the chef can only make food that can pass as pretentious tosh."
"In that case, can I have the scallops seared on a flag of paving from the ancient Tibetan capital of Lhasa?"
"That would be no problem, sir."
Not that anything Tommy cooks will make a difference as Tina is still trying to chat up that doctor, in the Rovers. Her main move was to bring him a beer. That'd work for me. Hell, I'd have proposed on the spot. It obviously works for him, too, as he asks Tina if she wants to come into town with him, followed by one of them smirks in which the face contorts so you can see every last drop of grease ooze from his pores.
At the prison, Fizz is called to see the governor (played by Diane Abbott), who tells her that her cell-mate has come round. When asked about the drugs, Fizz pleads ignorance, saying that she knows "not a sausage", which is more than she'll get in the cafe.
That'll be the main reason why business for the cafe has dropped considerably. Anna tells roy that his mam will ruin his business and that he needs to stand up to her. When he finally does, he does so in his own, inimitable soft, slightly awkward manner. Despite Roy's insistence, Sylvia is stubborn and refuses to relent.
Upstairs, Hayley is on the phone to Fizz, who tells her that she wants Becky to come in when they next visit. Becky doesnt want to go but ends up going anyway.
When she visits, Becky asks Fizz if she's got a nickname. Fizz reveals that she gets called Charlie Dimmock. Presumably there is more emphasis on the 'dim' part, rather than the fact she has ginger hair. Away from Hayley, Fizz asks Becky what she should do about the drugs. Becky calls her naive and tells her to say nowt. To be fair, she gives Fizz a good reason, too. It involved a fork sticking out her neck. Unsurprisingly, Fizz decides to keep schtum.
Back with our culinary globe-trotter, Tommy is wearing a towel on his head. Tyrone surmises that it's an attempt to look like Marco Pierre White. In reality, he just ends up looking more like a shit fancy dress Arab.
Later on, Tyrone sees Tina going off with the doctor and goes to break the news to Tommy, who, despite being able to grill a fish on a beach, he can't open a bottle of wine without getting bits of cork in it. When Tyrone tells Tommy about Tina and the doctor, they end up having the meal together, complete with a tea strainer for pouring the wine. An all-round civilised and classy affair.
It's closing time at Roy's Rolls and there is relief for us all, as we find out that they're not closing the ENT department after all. Phew. Our daring rebel, Norris manages to sneak into the toilet without paying. Although things go slightly tits-up for him when Sylvia locks him in until he pays.
Being the stubborn beggar he is, Norris refuses and Sylvia leaves him for the night. Norris remains defiant yet a bit scared of toilets at night, scared enough to start speaking about himself in the third person, resolving that "Norris Cole will not be defeated." Power to the pee-ple, Norris! Viva la revo-loo-tion!
The episode ends on the mother of all cliffhangers; Fizz, in her dark cell, saying that she doesn't want to watch TV. LOOK WHAT THAT PLACE IS DOING TO HER! THE MONSTERS!
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