Friday 5th August - Part One

Ah, the Corrie double-header Friday. The only episodes you actually need to watch but also the most likely ones you'll miss because you'll be in the pub.

This double header immediately made me wish I was deaf/dead with Gail howling along to Katie Perry and David forgetting the name of 'Coco Pops'.

Becky stopped both in their tracks, thankfully, by swaggering down the stairs in Nick's shirt, closely followed by the slimy tart himself, much to the general disbelief of Rat-Boy and his ferret-faced mother.

David compares Becky to a dead rat, to which Becky responds quickly by showing him just how ironic his statement was, pointing out his rodent features, shortly before Kylie tries to punch her, using a pitifully open, limp-wristed palm, missing anyway. Shit shot.

Amber the irritant overhears Tommy talking about how hot Tina is but beleives him when he tells her he's talking about her. Idiot.

Owen demonstrated his failing eyesight by mistaking Chris for Ronaldo before giving him a bollocking for being a clumsy, moody tit and clipping his van. Chris ends up getting it from both sides as Maria then strolls up and asks him to pick Liam up later on. I'm sure he'll remember.

Tommy manages to get a meal alone with Tina by spinning a yarn about Tyrone fancying a Greek checkout girl called Anita Papadopolous (who turns out to be from the area of Greece known as 'Rochdale') and has gone to learn Greek to impress her. She believes this. Idiot (I'm seeing a connection between the type of girls falling for Tommy).

Steve and Lloyd discover Nick and Becky in Roy's and both rival each other for the Jim Carey Award for Plastic Gurning Comedy Faces while Steve makes up a story, on the fly, about he, himself, bagging an attractive, classy bird. He fails to confirm if it is Anita Papadopolous.

In an effort to quickly arrange a date at Nick's bistro, Steve puts on his best sexy voice and works his way through his address book, finally trying to get a date with 'georgeous Beth'. He manages to blag a date with her using the never-fail line "no, I'm not a detective. I... am Steve McDonald".

Amber, again catches Tommy talking to Ty about his date with Tina but, again, falls for it when the dopey womaniser, again, tells her he's talking about her, arranging himself a second date for the evening. Much to Tyrone's grumbling. He's probably just jealous, though, to be fair.

We find out that Chris has missed a consultancy (not-entirely by accident), making him a clumsy, moody, pseudo-forgetful tit.

Steve swaggers into the bistro, building up Beth to Becky, pretty confident the ex-model, footballer-dumping, 'most beautiful girl I have ever dated' Beth hasn't changed in ten years. Ooops...

Tommy makes, possibly, the worst excuse ever to leave Amber in the middle of a meal, telling her that Tyrone has choked on a nut in the Rovers, has been taken to hospital and needs his jim-jams. Guess what. She believes him. Idiot.

Steve begins to think he is being stood up before Beth finally arrives. Want to know what she looks like? Think the impossible love-child of Cilla Battersby-Brown and Janice Battersby.

Yeeah... Unlucky, Steve, mate.

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