Well, we can all breath a sigh of relief as Norris is still alive and still locked in the bog. Not that anyone knows this, yet,
In the Kabin, while Gail is being a tight mare with birthday cards, Emily comes in looking for Norris. When Mary and Emily both realise they don't know where he is, Mary comes to the conclusion that he's been kidnapped. Why she would think anyone would want to kidnap Norris, God only knows. As entertaining as he is, I'd pay good money never to be in his presence.
Emily tentatively suggests that he could have 'formed an alliance'. I think this might be dullard speak for 'getting laid'. This suggestion makes Mary a little bit angry, a strange reaction as I thought 'bilious' would have been a more suitable reaction to that imagery.
Nevertheless, while having breakfast in the cafe, Mary is adamant about Norris being bound and gagged by Al Qaeda due to his "peddling of Western propaganda", i.e. the Weatherfield Gazette. Although, as Roy points out, this is statistically unlikely.
Just as Mary is making plans for a 999-style reconstruction (with Norris being played by David Suchet), Sylvia unlocks the door and lets him out. Understandably, Mary, Norris and Emily are not best pleased with Sylvia and tell her so in no uncertain terms. Not that Sylvia is one to offer an apology.
In the face of his mother's stubbornness, Roy sacks his mam and tells Norris that he will be happy to come to an agreement on terms of compensation. Norris and his elderly entourage return later on to negotiate a slap up banquet in which Sylvia has to weight on Norris hand and foot. This should be fun.
Now the serious stuff is out of the way, we can get onto something we were equally worried (ok, less worried, considerably less) about: Fizz getting mixed up in a drugs ring inside the prison.
To Fizz's relief her cell-mate returns from hospital. On seeing the effect the drugs had on Ginny, Fizz again confronts Ruth about her dealing. She tells Fizz that she has to keep dealing because she is under pressure from her boyfriend.
Fizz says she won't grass her up if she stops dealing now but, when she returns to her cell, she finds that Ginny has taken more. This prompts Fizz to put her best 'not angry, just disappointed' face on and shakes her head in dismay. She then goes back to give Ruth another lecture in which Fizz whinges about Hope again. This is all getting a bit repetitive, to be honest. I'm surprised she hasn't been shivved just for being piss-boilingly annoying.
Elsewhere on the street, Julie is getting flashbacks to her date with Brian. It turns out that she hasn't heard from him since and Marcus thinks it's not looking good. On the plus side, it also turns out that Sean is in London and, therefore, isn't on our screens. Every cloud, eh, Julie?
In a bid to find Julie a man, he suggests signing her up for some online dating. He encourages her to be "proactive", triggering the line of the episode "I'm a woman, not a yoghurt!" Although, if Julie were a yoghurt, she'd probably be Greek yoghurt - no-one's favourite, nice in small amounts and very thick.
Out of nowhere, Brian turns up at the house, apparently after he was badgered into it by Dennis, who was badgered into it by Eileen. After a frosty opening, Julie starts listing Brian's faults. Brian retaliates by listing hers. They include her not being able to talk (we are on about the same Julie here, aren't we? If her gums flapped any more, she'd take off). As Brian is about to leave, Julie stops him and the two make up and end up kissing.
Above the cafe, Hayley tells Becky that Kylie is going to see Max soon. Becky takes this in her stride but it is becoming increasingly clear that she is getting closer to Hope. Thank God she doesn't have any track-record on becoming obsessed with children that aren't hers and obtaining them illegally. Oh...
In the salon, it's a happy place. Maria crying about Chris and Kylie sulking about David forgetting her birthday and being stuck with Gail and her 89p coconut sponge. Sympathising, Audrey gives her money to get a new top as a present.
While waiting for the bus, she bumps into Eva, who offers to take her out on a drinking session in the Rovers, followed by a whole scene dedicated to Gail looking punchable, ending in a couple of lads catching the attentions of Kylie and Eva.
The episode ends with prison governor, Diane Abbott, trying to persuade Fizz to grass. Will she? Well, she's a soft arse, so probably.
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